lazy saturday

i'm home doing nothing. watching tv on my bed and being a total bum. this feels so good. gosh! it has been a while since i have done this. however, i can't really enjoy it because i feel guilty. i have so many things to do. it's not even funny.

i was up until about 2am last night. after talking to a friend on the phone i went to bed and woke up at around 9am when another friend texted me. what the heck? it's Saturday! why do people text before 9am? nah, just kidding. anyway, the friend i was speaking with last night is the same one that caused all my confusion after the 7/4 weekend. last night, however, i guess that i didn't feel as confused. now i am though. we were talking about his "game" and how he needs to start asking people out and stuff. after being married for a while he has lost practice, he says. it didn't bother me to hear that so what does that mean? that i no longer care? but then i really don't care about people who are not connected to him--like the girl asking him out at the store--but i do about people who are in his life. i don't get it. why am i so confused about this? i have to sort things out.