hints

sometimes you have encounters that mark the beginning of something.  that's how i feel about a meeting i had while in DC this week.  i met people that i had worked with on a grant proposal--let's call them B&A.  as a celebration for getting the grant, B took us to dinner--us being my boss, my colleague, A and myself.  we all went to mccormick and schmicks in bethesda, md.  lots of chatting, stories and good food.  there was this french-speaking waiter that was either nervous or stupid because he kept brushing against me---when bringing my wine, my food, the bread, the tea, e-ve-ry sin-gle time. dork... anyway.  B used to be a prominent figure in an old administration and is quite the know-it-all.  anyway, throughout the whole meeting i felt like i was being observed.  maybe because they had never met me before and we had worked together a bit. i'm not sure.  i just felt that he was looking at me from time to time trying to figure me out.  for some reason i feel that there may be a greater connection with those people later on but i'm not sure how or what.  i just get that feeling and wonder why... we'll see what time says.

on another note, B is very gentleman-like.  he reminds me of my senior pastor.  lately, i have begun to notice some gentleman-like qualities that i didnt notice before.  i also have been--unconsciously--comparing those men that i feel exhibit "fake"  qualities and those that are genuine gentlemen.  i know it's an old term and all but it's reassuring to know that there are men like that.  it's little thing they do that makes them that way, and they do it when no one else is looking.  they do it with their wives but also with women that they have no romantic connection to. it's very intriguing and motivating at the same time.  i think my male peers seem to have lost some of those qualities.  it's not just opening doors, pulling chairs or hanging your coat; there's more than that.  there's a certain unstated sense of protection and care.  there's a certain calm and knowledge of who they are.  there's a certain sense of security and lack of them feeling threatened by you in any ways.  it's just... i don't know... but if i were a guy i would want to be that way.