there's nothing more disappointing than when you feel taken advantage by those who you love and who love you.  when people you care for do that, it's like you have nowhere to turn.  there's this lack of groundedness that makes things really heavy. currently, i feel taken advantage of.  i also feel like an idiot because i knew i would be taken advantage of from the getgo but decided to go into it anyway. technically, i have nothing to complain about.  however, it is easier said than done.  it is hard when you sacrifice for others and it comes across as if they take it for granted; as if they are entitled to it.  to me it feels wrong. sometimes i think it's some type of weird co-dependence of sorts.  why would i care for what happens if it won't harm me?  why keep planning aspects of my life based on what would be good for others rather than me?  they don't do the same for me... however, deep down i know i can't be that way. i know i have to do what i know is right and let God judge what may be unfair to me or to them.  i have to do what's right even if i don't feel like doing it.  at the same time, i have to set some boundaries, even if it is with those that you should trust and care for.  those that supposedly are the only ones to be there for you always.  i've learn that no one is ever there for you always. no human being can ever be there for you always.  God is but besides him.  you can count on people changing and inevitably their relationship with you changes.  it's sad.  i truly wished i'd have a different perspective in life but the more i live, the more i learn that you may be surprised.  :)