hmm... what is love?

so.. i have been struggling with this lately and i'm not sure what it means. i recently met up with someone with whom i had a romantic relationship many years ago. we are now friends and have a pretty good--what feels genuine--friendship. however, after spending part of the weekend with this person, i guess that i'm not sure how i feel about our past history. he seems to pop up in my mind rather frequent lately and i couldn't help to wonder what my life would have been if we had developed our relationship into a serious relationship. i was never able to trust him and in fact to this day i feel that he had a girlfriend at that time and that i was only a fling of sorts. however, in his defense, i think some of his feelings were also true and so can't really judget him since i don't really know waht his situation was like. one thing is true, though; when i am with him i feel rather comfortable. i don't necessarily like him when i'm with him, but i definitely like him more when i'm away from him. maybe i just like what he represents rather than liking him (attention, care, etc.). the other day while driving home i was listening to a song by Rosario, Como quieres que te quiera?, and i found myself crying and thinking of him. no idea why. i think that some feelings are so hard to understand. i think i'm too complicated. why? i either should like the guy or i shouldn't. what's with all the drama? idk, idk.